A las 16 semanas de gestación, Ashley tuvo que ingresar de urgencias al hospital por un fuerte dolor abdominal que terminó convirtiéndose en sepsis, una enfermedad que “ocurre cuando el cuerpo tiene una abrumadora respuesta inmunitaria a una infección bacteriana”, según MedlinePlus, y que terminó afectando uno de sus riñones.

A través de varias publicaciones en su cuenta de Instagram, Lemieux contó a sus seguidores que el bebé que venía en camino, Jayce, no pudo terminar de formarse dentro de ella, porque su cuerpo no estaba lo suficientemente fuerte para que los dos se mantuvieran con vida, por lo que tuvo un aborto espontáneo.

“Él llegó rápida e inesperadamente. Lo tuve sola en un cuarto que nunca fue pensado para tener bebés. Sollocé y grité en mi cama, gritándole a Dios que no se suponía que fuera así, mientras esperaba que un grupo de médicos viniera a ayudarme”, se lee en uno de sus ‘post’ sobre lo dramático y triste que fue ese momento sin la compañía de su esposo o algún familiar, pues por las medidas preventivas por el COVID-19 no se le permitió el ingreso a ninguno a acompañarla.

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Our precious baby boy, Jayce Michael LeMieux, was delivered at 9:40 on Friday morning. ❤️ The name Jayce means ‘Healer’. That’s exactly who Jayce has been for us. This baby healed us in ways we never thought we’d experience again, and showed us that there is a beautiful life that is still waiting for us to live. Our hearts are cracked wide open again, but this time, we have Jayce as a guardian angel to help light our way. ❤️ At 16 weeks gestation, his body was perfect and healthy, but unfortunately, mine was not. The extent that the sepsis rapidly took over my body created a scenario in which we both couldn’t stay alive. It was too much to have a pregnancy withstand, and is something that is going to take a very long time for me to come to terms with. ❤️ He came quickly and unexpectedly, and I delivered him all alone in a room that was never meant to deliver babies. I sobbed and screamed on my bed, yelling to God that it wasn’t supposed to be this way, as I waited for a group of doctors to come help me. ❤️ After I delivered him, they rushed me to the Labor and Delivery unit of the hospital, which meant that my husband @mikelemieux could finally have permission to come and be with me after days of me fighting alone for my life in the hospital. (I’ll talk more about this later). ❤️ We’re still in the hospital, my body has a lot of healing to do. We spent precious time with our baby boy this morning to say our final goodbyes. His little hat fits in the palm of his daddy’s hand. ❤️ We love you Jayce. I can’t wait for the day I get to hold you in my arms. I wish that I could be where you are. #LeMieuxFamilyOfFive

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I can’t believe it’s been a week since I delivered my baby boy. I miss him so much it physically hurts. ❤️ Something happened in the hospital that has given me hope, that I want to share with you. Every time a baby was born, a little lullaby would play throughout the entire hospital. I noticed it my first night there, and it gave me so much peace, fighting for my life knowing that in a couple months the lullaby would play for my own baby. It gave me courage to withstand the pain that overtook my entire body. • But then Jayce didn’t make it, and right after I delivered him, all alone in my room, the lullaby came on. I sobbed. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. It wasn’t time for his lullaby yet. The rest of our time at the hospital, I’d hear the lullaby play multiple times a day. Instead of bringing pain, @mikelemieux and I found tremendous peace and comfort every time we heard the lullaby. It filled me with hope, in a time of intense agony. It reminded me that life still grows, that there is still joy, and love still exists, even in our darkest moments. It was my promise that life is still surrounding me. ❤️ Every day since we left the hospital, I look for the lullaby’s throughout my day. Sometimes it’s the sun coming up, or the butterfly that flutters past my window, other times it’s my husbands laugh or the feeling of my own smile breaking through. ❤️ I know that life might seem impossible for you right now. I know that it might freaking hurt like hell, and you might be really scared. But maybe there are some little lullaby’s that are still surrounding you, that can remind you that life, joy, growth, and love, still overpower the darkness. Listen for the lullaby today.

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En la misma red social, Ashley publicó un video del apoyo que recibió, a través de una ventana, de sus familiares, una vez ya dieron ingreso a su esposo. A lado de la grabación, la escritora aseguró que la dura experiencia le mostró que todos tenemos por dentro una fortaleza que no imaginamos.

“He necesitado a mi gente, pero lo que aprendí fue la fuerza que tenía dentro de mí […] Mi familia vino a mi ventana para hacerme saber que están ahí. Físicamente separados, pero no solos. Porque el COVID no puede quitarnos nuestra humanidad, sino que está expandiendo la forma en la aparecemos para nosotros y entre nosotros”.

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For anyone who feels afraid right now.. ❤️ I never knew Covid would drastically make an impact on me, until I was alone in the hospital, fighting for life: • And then delivering my baby boy at 16 weeks gestation. Alone. The night before his delivery, when the OB came and told me he was gone, I screamed. I begged them to let my husband come be with me. But they told me I’d have to be alone. I shook all night, in fear and despair and was welcomed back into a loneliness that I had felt before: When I had been alone during the loss of our older two. • The next morning, Jayce came fast. The nurses didn’t realize the extent of the labor I was in since I was not in labor and delivery. So I delivered him alone. Then I screamed and frantically pushed the nurse call button a million times, until an OB and a delivery nurse reached my bedside, grabbed my baby and held my hand. • I had been as strong as I could. I had to be, because I had nobody else to hold me. I had to tell myself it would be okay, that I was capable of doing impossible things, just like I have before. As they were running me to the delivery unit of the hospital, they told me that @mikelemieux could now come. He was there within 22 minutes and as I watched him walk through my door I melted into his presence that gave me permission to not have to be alone anymore. ❤️ I had needed my people, but what I learned, was the strength I carried in myself. It was a strength I had never known I had the capacity for. I know we need our tribes right now. But we also need ourselves. The self that we haven’t really had to tap into yet. The self that yells this is shit, but Im freaking doing it! The self that can deliver and push and call on a greater power to show us all the magic and resilience we have inside. My family came to my window to let me know they were there. Physically separated, but not alone. Because Covid can’t take our humanity, but is expanding the way we show up for ourselves and each other. ❤️ Swipe right on my photo for your heart to explode.❤️

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Después de varios días, la pareja pudo dar sepultura a su hijo y lo mostró en Instagram con un carrusel de fotos y un sentido mensaje: “Gracias por escogerme como tu mamá. Gracias por salvarme. Gracias por sanarme”.

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“My tears are the words with which I tell God of my pain.” ❤️ My baby boy, you didn’t need much time to help heal parts of us that we didn’t think would ever feel the sun again. You didn’t need much time to leave a significant mark in the lives of those who can’t wait to hold you one day. You didn’t need much time to teach us more about love. But I sure wish I had more time with you. While you’re not physically with us, your powerful, calming, and magnetic force of love has been felt constantly, which helps me believe, there’s a greater love surrounding us all. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for healing me. • ❤️Jayce Michael LeMieux❤️

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